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(EDITOR'S NOTES - 11/24/05 - The majority of the material in the original post called "Why I Chose Him" came from the e-mails Squishy received after posting for a Dom on Craigslist. While the original complete post is up on her blog, I was not a party to those e-mails and have cut them out completely. This has the unfortunate effect of gutting the post. I have made follow-up comments, but it doesn't do the original post justice. So dear reader you will see only the e-mail from me to her and her comments about why she chose me as her first Dominant. Apologies.)
(Originally posted by Squishy - The Unlikely Submissive on The Unlikely Sub blog)
I am sure He is as curious as those who read why I chose Him in the first place. It was an easy and difficult choice. Easy in that some of the men who replied to my ad were as dismissable as forgetting to take out the teash. They were inexpereienced, or violent, more than a little off, or didn't meet even one of the simple criteria I set.
Difficult in that the ones that were experienced knew what they were talking about and how to handle 1. someone new to the lifestyle and 2. someone who was admittedly nervous. All while selling themselves to me. It was amazing how this simple ad could garner replies from people with so little reading comprehension.
"Have to say, I'm more than a little apprehensive about this post.
I'm looking for an experienced Dominant male to introduce me to the Dominant/ submissive lifestyle. Naturally, I'm not into pain, but I am very curious about how it works and what it is like.
The message would be longer, but I really have no idea what it all entails. I have photos to exchange. Can't wait to hear from you. Please, no married men."
With this simple two paragraph posting, I was deluged with around 50-55 replies. They can all be categorized into the horribly trite (but appropriate) THE GOOD, THE BAD and THE UGLY. I will start first with the Doms that I met. There were three, one was a little too geek, one was a bit effeminate and the third was Sir.
Doms I Met:
[The medieval geek] - EDITOR'S NOTE - E-MAIL DELETED AS THIRD PARTY COMMUNICATION
His was the first reply that was of any normal nature so we arranged a meeting that went well, and oddly enough he was a psychologist. He was pleasant but became quickly overbearing and I needed to end that acquaintance.
[the effeminate] EDITOR'S NOTE - E-MAIL DELETED AS THIRD PARTY COMMUNICATION
We met at a bar near where I worked and had a had a nice conversation, but nothing clicked.
[Sir's post] EDITOR'S NOTE - This is the original e-mail I sent Squishy:
Saw your posting on CL tonight from earlier in the week. I usually write a very detailed response, but don't have many details on you to compare yet, so here's my background:
ME: A learned practitioner of Rope Bondage and Artistic Bondage, KINBAKUSHI (Japanese Bondage Master) of 3 previous Submissives. I can introduce you to the arts at a variety of levels from beginner to expert, both sexual and non-sexual. World traveler with first hand experience in East Asian, Eastern European and Latin American styles of D/s BDSM and private role playing. Well traveled, well educated, 6' 3" single, storng but controlled. I can help you explore your submissive side, even if it doesn't involve bondage. There are many levels of submissiveness and right up to the point where we begin role playing YOU are the one in charge. Not being into pain is actually a good thing for most submissives, because you find many more creative ways to seek pleasure and release.
YOU: Submissive with no fear, a good sense of what this lifestyle is really all about, or a beginner who is open minded enough not to miss the opportunity to learn the REAL art of submissiveness, perhaps open to experimenting with rope bondage and artistic bondage using fabrics, ropes, ribbons, leather, textures that tease the skin and even body paint for a complete human submissive work of art. Must appreciate the idea that your body will become my canvas on the way to your explosive release, while serving my needs as your Kinbakushi.
I'm a professional living in ********/work in **********. I'd enjoy helping you to explore that side of your life. I prefer someone with a sense of what they want and a high level of intelligence.
Safe words, sane play and privacy are absolutely respected. Look forward to hearing from you. Send me a few photos and I'd be more than happy to do the same. I have a flexible work schedule, so if you'd like to meet privately to talk about this before proceeding I'd be more than happy to have a discreet conversation over coffee or lunch. My treat as always.
-end-
What I liked, and was looking for, was the extensive experience in rope bondage. I liked the artistic aspect (as you see in the photos we post) as well as the geometric and steady patterns of the rope marks left on my skin. Though I have to say that circulation has been a problem with me. I don't know how common that is. He can tie me loosely and I will still lose feeling in my hands if they are laid a certain way. It's very frustrating for me.
(EDITOR'S NOTES - The remaining e-mails have been deleted as I noted above. They included some interesting concepts and straight out lies, misconceptions, and infantile spelling and grammatical mistakes. I have run into a few of these "pretenders" on Craigslist who seem to pop up whenever a woman is troubled by a questionable e-mail and asks me to review the content for safety's sake. There were a number of very good e-mails that just didn't click with what Squishy was looking for and I have always felt fortunate that she chose me over the other 50-60 respondents.)
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