AMAZING WHO YOU RUN INTO!

So what are the chances that you run into another person who is into BDSM, bondage or even a little role playing, in your everyday public world?

Rose came home tonight with a story about one of her co-workers who is starting a new relationship. She's a bright, beautiful, vibrant woman who has her life together, without a hint of anything beyond the normal sexually...it seems she has the same (we believe) hidden love of "play" that we do.

Rose told me that during their conversation at work, her friend was describing her new man & said..."the only thing I can't figure out is if he's a top, bottom or a switch!"

(pause for that surprised look by Rose)

Her friend continued, "Oh don't give me that look. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Of course, this led to all kinds of conversations about day collars, if I was a Dominant & other various and sundry elements, including giving over the link to Rose's blog.

All in all a very pleasant surprise. I promised Rose I would NOT leave the 18" x 5" strap out on the table when our new friend comes over for our Memorial Day BBQ. But dropping a bad pun like, "excuse me while I WHIP up the potato salad in our SPANKING new kitchen" isn't out of the question. LOL

Sleep well. Perverts.

~TND

ALMOST A YEAR!

Contrary to the popular belief of some negative people who said we wouldn't last at the time, Rose & I are not only doing well but coming up on our one year wedding anniversary.

I could not be happier with this woman.

She is the light that outshines the sun for me every single day & a big part of my comfort zone when we are together at night.

We're planning a little getaway to Europe for a short celebration around our wedding anniversary date of April 28th and in combination with her birthday in early May. I think we'll have a blast here in & around DC, overseas and on a few well timed day trips to some of our favorite B&Bs for a whole month of fun. As always, Rose has her finger on great places to get awesome airfare.

I know we don't post as often as we should, but there really isn't much we want to share with the public other than the fact that we are doing just fine. Here are just a few things that have happened in the past year...

~ I'm down over 65 pounds & have been getting around great without any assistance. 20-25 pounds more to go & we're starting to train again as the weather warms up.

~ Rose has been promoted to a great supervisory position in less than a year. She has also started her own design company & is educating herself on some of the manufacturing techniques needed to create her own works.

~ I've also started two new media contracts & have the core of a great online business starting up just a few months away.

~ We bought a new runaround town car for us and are looking for a cute little Mini Cooper for her. It's almost a fashion accessory here in Georgetown because of the lack of decent parking. Thank gawd for the neighborhood zone permits!

~ Beyond the materialistic aspects of what we have accomplished, we found cultural nirvana in & around our neighborhood and have actually taken in a few performances. The most notable was a beautifully staged NYC Ballet Company performance of "Sleeping Beauty" at the Kennedy Center. We're making time to rediscover this amazing city.

~ As we talked about in a previous post below I got the blue sapphire earstud piercing in my left ear to match the stone in my wedding ring...and surprise surprise she got a matching earstud! I also took the leap to get some ink for myself. Since I won't be returning to a previous government committment after retiring from service, I thought it was time to man up & ink up. It's a deep cobalt blue design with a thin black outline that really makes the color fill pop...and no I will not be sharing it here online...but it represents a translation of the sound above the clouds above the fields and the honor bestowed by my former Chinese partners in giving me an actual Mandarin (Han) family name to become a part of their family. It beats the hell out of unknowing college kids having a random Chinese character put on their bodies. I always laugh when I see someone with that on their skin, knowing what the symbol really means. It's like the professor in Taipei who gave his pupil the English name of "Booger" because he failed almost all his classes. I wonder if Chinese people tattoo the words "Dumb Ass Tourist" on their arms or at the pubic bone? LOL

~ Rose now also sports a beautiful light wintery blue snowflake on her pristine skin.

~ We were never public practitioners of BDSM so we've never played outside our own relationship since the wedding last year. A few new toys have made it into the house & a really sharp looking cane has kept Rose's backside tingling along with the other cats, paddles, whips and straps. Oh, and a recommendation...a Williams-Sonoma wooden flan spatula makes a great sound and a nice little mark on your partner's ass cheeks.

That's plenty for now. You never know when we might pop in again!

Lots of love from us to our regular former readers & friends.

I have removed a few of the postings that showed our faces and personal information so that I could open up the blog again. Please be respectful with your comments. All are screened before posting.

Sleep well. Perverts.

~TND

ROSE WRITES AGAIN!

Please take the time to visit Rose's blog

http://aliferestarted.blogspot.com

She's been inspired recently to write a bit, which is always a treat.

THE RINGS! THE RINGS!

So many of you...especially the subbies...have asked for pictures of the rings.

The gentleman who did the work for us is well known here in Washington as a master craftsman with metalworks and gem selection. As it so happened, he had a large collection of emeralds, diamonds and sapphires among other gems that had been sitting for a number of years, since most of his work is in metals. This significantly reduced the cost of the stones.

We sat for the better part of the afternoon and made the choice of a combination of white gold, antique rose gold as the accent and the green emerald for Rose's engagement ring & the blue sapphire for my wedding ring. As Rose and I designed the three rings it became very clear that we were not going to end up with anything that looked like what you might find in Zales, Mervis or other chain jewlery stores...and thank gawd for that.

Working out the designs together we came up with a nice touch for her ring set. The engagement ring has a small indent on one side, where the wedding ring fits right underneath. Two diamonds surround her emerald and four smaller diamonds are on the corners around my blue sapphire. From the pencil sketches to reality is quite an exciting process...especially seeing something that binds you together in love come to life.

One of the nice things about the craftsman is that he also restores antique items & makes a number of speciality items that require him to take intricate photographs. He sent these over this afternoon. Michael Schwartz's website is here for those of you who might want to have something custom made for yourself & the one you love. http://www.creativemetalworks.com/

Click on the pics below to see larger versions.

Sleep Well. Perverts.
~TND & ROSE

TO THE DOMS OF DC - CL POST

This was posted on Craigslist here in Washington. I could not stop laughing at the wannabees and McDoms who are still out there trying to pull off the same old scams. I've included the link, but have also pasted it here for the time when the link expires. This was written by a submissive in the DC area nicknamed "Blanche" & it is posted with her permission.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/rnr/329797989.html

Gentlemen,

In the nine months I have lived in DC I have met and corresponded with a number of you, and frankly I am a little disappointed with the men in this area who call themselves Doms. I find it hard to believe that in a city based on the power of politics that at least a few of you can’t step up to the plate and get the whole BDSM thing right. Since you all seem to be having a difficult time with this I thought I would give you a few guidelines to make your search for your own submissive princess more successful. I am only giving you this input out of love, no one wants to see you succeed more than I do dear, so please read carefully.

#1) A submissive is not a doormat. Don’t expect me to do whatever you say when we are not in the bedroom. No I won’t clean up your apartment, no I won’t wake up at three am to fuck you, and no I will not leave work early because you can’t just jack off like everyone else does. Listen, I am totally turned on when you order me around in the bedroom, it’s totally hot. However, it is annoying in my vanilla life, I am just as busy as you are, so lay off. If I wanted that kind of subservience I would move to Saudi Arabia.

#2) Sending me an email saying you’re a Dom, doesn’t make you my Master. Seriously, if I sent you an email claiming I was a cardiologist would you let me give you an angioplasty? I am just as protective of my snatch as you are of heart. When I get an email from you immediately giving me an order to take down my ad, send you a nude picture, etc, I show it to my roommate and we laugh at what an asshole you are. My lack of reply should be an indication to you of how well this strategy works. It’s even better when you send me a second even more demanding email. Christ dumb ass, it’s not working, try something else. Try slowing down, would it really kill you to have a cup of coffee to get to know me a little first.

#3) No, your friend cannot watch or join us. I don’t know your friend, and I don’t want to fuck him.

#4) NSA means NSA. I am not looking for a husband. If I were I would be married by now. If I meet you on Casual Encounters, it probably means I am not going to move in with you. Again, I have a life too. Having said that, if you would like to see me again, just ask. I might say yes if the sex was fun. Don’t send me creepy emails asking how I’m doing and don’t drive by my house seeing if I’m home. This kind of behavior makes me think I should call the sheriff to see if your address has been updated in the offender registry. Oh, and Brian, stop sending me text messages. You were a lousy lay, and you cell phone has a virus, which fucks up my phone every time you send me one of your inane messages. Go the fuck away.

#5) Don’t expect me to suck your cock without any reciprocation. No fun for my pussy means no second date for you, period. Submissives like oral sex too. Don’t get me wrong, I love sucking cock, but it is not enough to keep me interested in you for more than twenty minutes. Additionally, if I have sucked your cock for half an hour and you still refuse to cum I am throwing you out of my apartment. I don’t care if you still have a raging boner, my gay neighbor will get to enjoy watching you struggle to unlock your car with a hard on.

#6) Seriously, your friend cannot watch.

#7) Yes, we have to meet in public the first time. Also, no I won’t come to your apartment, never having met you and put on a blindfold without seeing you first. I also will not get into your car with you and let you drive me some place I’ve never been before. Safety clown says those are bad ideas. I like being tied up and fucked. I do not like being tied up, fucked, injected with drain cleaner, and strangled. I don’t know you, and you haven’t gained my trust. And yes, I want your real name, address, and phone number. I will give it to my roommate so he can check up on me if I don’t come home in time. This is common sense, and if you are a real Dom you will always put our safety first. If you don’t want to tell me your name you are hiding something and I don’t want to deal with you.

#8) Married guys, get fucking lost. Cheating on your wife leads me to believe you are a despicable piece of shit, don’t email me. Put a little effort into your marriage or get divorced asshat.

#9) Under no circumstances will I do the We/we, D/s bullshit while we IM. I/it I/is I/inane.

#10) Enough pictures of your cocks already! Again, I just show these to my roommate for our amusement (and he’s a queer). Bonus points to all you gentlemen who send me a penis pic when you have a really small cock. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

#11) Again, your friend cannot watch. Who is that guy anyway? Wasn’t he in Deliverance?

#12) You may not call me bitch, slut, or whore outside the bedroom. If you do, don’t be surprised if I go nuclear on your ass. I have a name, use it. If not I might be forced to refer to you as daddy in public.

#13) If you don’t respect and like women, don’t email me. If you hate women and want a blowjob, I can hook you up with my gay roommate.

#14) If I spend two hours getting ready for our playdate I expect you to put a little effort in to getting ready as well. At least shower, no one likes that musty ball smell.

Listen, I am a nice, smart woman who just happens to like a little spanking and bondage. I am sure most of you are nice men who like the same things. I’m sure we can work this out. Post these guidelines by your computer before you answer the next ad and I’m sure it will work out for you. Happy hunting you naughty bastard.

Here are some related links within the NaturalDom blog that address this very topic. More power to submissives who take a stand and say "enough is enough", "we want to be safe" and "you better have more credentials than a mail order plastic whip smaller than your cock". Thank you "Blanche"!

http://naturaldom.blogspot.com/2005/11/q-1130.html
WANNABES ON CL
http://naturaldom.blogspot.com/2006/01/score-one-for-good-guys.html
FAKES - MEN AS WOMEN ON CL


Sleep well. Perverts.
~TND & ROSE

PRIVACY ISSUES

It's not that we don't want our regular group of readers, lurkers and lovers here...far from it...it's that recently we've been getting a huge amount of spam and just old fashioned shit stirrers wanting to make comments here that serve no other purpose than to make the poster feel better about the fucked up world they happen to be stuck in.

Since Blogger/Google is now offering a privacy setting...

And Rose and I are getting married next week...

And since we prefer to bask in the glow of the love we've built rather than wallow in the shit with the assholes who seem to have come out of the woodwork lately...

We're making this an invite only experience. Drop me a note or fill out the box when it asks you to contact the blog admin and we'll clear our usual circle of readers, lurkers and lovers in time to see photos from the civil wedding we're doing first next week before the big celebration later in the year. We're also taking down the posts relating to a few former submissives whose stories are no longer relevant here and editing some of the content to be more reflective of the relationship Rose and I have, as well as the actual nature of my own personality...removed from the "TND" persona. As we've said in the past, the "Natural Dom"/"TND" persona is just that - a character, a screen, a device to allow us to write about the exploration of the things that make BSDM and D/s play still such a taboo thing in the general population.

Thanks for understanding and as always...

Sleep well. Perverts.

~TND

LATEST UPDATES - SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

Welcome back to the new Natural Dom blog. For future readers, lurkers & lovers that find this in the archives, as well as our current March 2007 readers, I want to take a moment to address why we went private & to update you on what's happening with Rose and myself.

By the time some of you read this in the archives I may have taken down any mention of the submissive known as "Squishy" or Claire. As of about an hour ago I started removing all of the content related to her with the exception of stories that had been favorites of regular readers. It has now been more than 16 months since we broke it off in November 2005, yet for all the claims on her public site that she's not one of those textbook looney-ex's, she continues to have her prison guard boyfriend check on this website from his public government computer almost every night. She continues to think that by making not-so-thinly veiled references to me that she's either getting away with something or having a bit of harmless fun.

A few weeks ago, when she had a big blow-up over an ex-boyfriend of hers essentially treating her the way she treated me in the end, I posted a note about "Instant Karma" coming back to bite her in the ass. Granted, I "poked the bear" a few times myself over the past year & 1/2 but it was usually in response to something she spit out on her very public blog, under her real name. Tonight, I'm sure in response to finding out she can't view the TND blog anymore, she posted the following on her blog:

---

It's a year later after we both apparently moved on (going to move the nuptials back again my friend?) and it's STILL all about him. How wronged he was. Yeah. Talk to me when someone threatens your job, clearance, family and friends, over an instance of wounded male ego. Then you can talk to me. By the way folks, in retribution, when he sees this anyone who comments will more than likely get an email/comment from him telling you what a horrible person I am. On the upside, I'm really getting the hang of this multi-media stuff:



The wailing head of a baby was good, but this is more fitting, don't you think? Get over yourself. Quit your braying you insufferable, bloated, egomaniacal, narcissistic jackass. And unless you are going to link me on your blog when you bad mouth me during your moral lessons (laughable) so your commenters can see what a complete black hole of a human you are, quit mentioning my name. You aren't fit to speak it.

---

So what we have here is clearly a deranged person who has to dig and dig and dig until they get the response they want. She used one of the only photos she has of me at an event I took her to when we were still together & pasted a donkey's head on it. (I changed the name and offline storage location, so you won't find her blog or the original) Original and very funny, but it serves no other purpose but to throw another lightweight punch in a battle that was over a long time ago. It just points up her inability to shut the fuck up and move on like a rational person.

In addition, I have been receiving some rather specific e-mails that go beyond spamming and rude comments. E-mails that mention details and locations and real names only a few people would know about. At one point I had over 100 of these in one week from a variety of knockoff, single use addresses...but in comparing the times they were sent with known URLs of certain visitors on the blog log...they all seem to come from a small handful of related previous visitors. This has happened to Nina at the Lazy Geshia blog and to others and I won't stand for threats or harassment of any kind.

As I mentioned in the "Privacy Issues" posting above, I do not want anything to ruin the upcoming wedding between Rose and I next week. This is a time for us to be joyous and happy for what we have together and what we share in our daily life together. The shit stirrers can go wallow in their own mess because they can no longer track the site or view anything I don't wish them to.

Now...

...to the updates!

- Rose got a great tattoo on the back of her neck that is a shaded black 3D version of a celtic knot with wing-like extensions and intertwining circles. It looks great. It's her first ink & we'll put up some pics soon.

- We ARE going to get married next weekend. A civil ceremony with just a witness or two now and then a full dress celebration and ceremony in late October when more of our friends and family can have the time to plan their trips and we have the openings in our work schedules.

- Rose is now working right across the street from me in downtown Washington DC. She can walk right out her office building door and see the White House every day less than a block or so away. She loves that we can drive in together or meet up for coffee or lunch, but now an even bigger event makes it all that much better.

- We found a place in Georgetown to live. For those of you around the rest of the globe who don't know, Georgetown is a very cool shopping and restaurant district right on the Potomac River in DC. But even more than that, it is the location of many of the most historic & beautifully designed properties in Washington. Our new home was built in the year 1900 and is the corner property with a southern & eastern view from almost the top of the hill. Rose was able to have the owner do the paint scheme just the way we both wanted it with earthtones shades of a very cool brown in the living room, a heatherish muted green in the bedroom, and to appease my family traditions, a Williamsburg blue in the kitchen and hallways that has a touch of grey in it and still comes off more earthy than pastel. All with the historic white trimboards.

- And a working wood burning fireplace. HELL YEAH!

- We'll be moving in over the next month and getting out of suburban hell and back into the city where we both belong. Our commute is down to maybe 10-20 minutes instead of 30-45+ and during the warmer weather she can actually walk to work.

- Workwise we are both busier than ever. I've returned to a previous contract with one of Washington's most recognizable entertainment companies, in addition to my day job in television and with various government agencies who need staffing in my area of expertise. From now through October I'm going to be a very busy guy. She has fit right in with her new public affairs organization and they love her dearly. What's not to love!?!?! And she is soooo excited about the fact that her organization is throwing a big time black tie affair with a "passel of politicos and power brokers" to mingle with. So needless to say I'm having the monkey suit pressed. TND in a Tux! Dig it!

- Honeymoon in Italy next October.

- And...Rose wants me to get a blue saphhire stud in my left ear. She got inked, I get another hole in my head. LOL

So you see, we actually are doing quite well, despite what others might be thinking about the delays in the wedding date and the lack of regular posts. Enjoy the updated blog and let me know if there are people you want to invite to the site.

Sleep well. Perverts.

~TND

FROM THE TND COMIC BOOK - ROSE

She's everything you'd wish for in a submissive. And now you can print her out and get the whole family involved in your BDSM D/s lifestyle! Grab a box of Crayolas and make it a project for that rainy or snowy day in your hometown. Plus, you'll have something neato to rival all those schoolyard doodles your talentless punk kid puts on the refrigerator!

The comic panel features TND & Rose in a session at home, with Rose in her favorite D-Ring collar and TND brandishing his favorite double leather strap to great effect. Her 36 D-cup breasts swaying with the force of the spanking. A few tears of joy falling from those sparkling eyes, past her perfect nose and sculpted chin. Her lips slightly parted and anxious to take TND's cock in her mouth. That wonderful deep cleft between her legs dripping with wetness with labia open as she spreads her legs out while kneeling at TND's command. And best of all, the sheen of excitement on that tanned soft skin as she arches her back and juts out her ass cheeks for more strapping.

You can choose your own colors, but here are the natural choices!

HAIR: Blonde
EYES: Hazel
NIPPLES: Dark Tan
NIPPLE RINGS: Silver
ROPE AROUND WRISTS: Violet
FRESHLY SPANKED ASS: Bright Red
PUSSY: Shaved & Pink

ENJOY!


Sleep Well. Perverts.
~TND

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Flowers? Chocolates? Greeting cards?

No...I prefer looking at Rose's heart shaped ass up close and personal.



Nothing compares to a Standing 69!

Happy Valentine's day from a snowy Washington, DC...still the kinkiest city in America!

FOLLOW-UP ANSWER

http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com/2007/01/all-good-things-must-come-to-end.html

A short & sweet answer for the woman, known as "Mary P" who sent the TND Bonus Letter of the Week a post or two below this one...read the link above from Avah's website.

She's cut off her relationship with Jefferson, the author of the great "One Life, Take Two" blog. Jefferson, as readers, lurkers and lovers know, is the guy who introduced Rose to my blog and made her begin her own own as a condition of their relationship. Read it and then come back and understand my answer.

The short & sweet answer from me as to why I bounced around so much before finding Rose?

Because most of the time it feels so damned good and it's too fucking hard to say goodbye.

It doesn't take three intricate pages of an email to explain it. It's the natural physiology that draws certain people to one another & the discovery that "pheremones - be -damned", some people just aren't meant to be together in the long run. Some people can't handle relationships as intense and un-naturally reversed in the building as a BDSM or D/s relationship is & sometimes you go in with eyes wide open and just enjoy the ride together until you feel like moving on.

There's the plain & simple truth.

Sleep well. Perverts.
~TND

TND BONUS LETTER OF THE WEEK

UPDATED AT END OF ORIGINAL POST BELOW - TUESDAY 1/30/07

OK, so it's not all flowers and silk, breakfast in bed and blowjobs at the door when I come home after a hard day's work. Nor would I want it to be. It would be like living in a place with the same weather every day. All the letters that come our way aren't the most flattering. Nor would I want there to be some blind allegence to this TND persona like some two-bit cult figure. On Sunday night I checked the inbox one last time before joining Rose in our comfy bed and found the letter below waiting for me.

To make this easier to read, I'm going to indent her letter and color the text, offering up my response after the points she makes. This should be an easier read than having to scroll back & forth. In advance, I'll thank the writer and remind her that this blog is only a partial diary of what happens in our life. The rest is answered below.

---

FROM: MARY P. -

I have watched with interest your comings and goings over the last year. I've seen you blow through women like someone with a head cold blows through Kleenex. With each new player, you profess how special they are, what a wonderful submissive they are, how connected you are to them and they to you... and on and on.

Thank you for taking the time to actually read the blog and archives. I know it must be an excruciating experience to go for a year and not speak up about the horrendous behavior you outline below. Let's take a look at those I've professed to hold dearest & why they are no longer in my life.

Squishy - lied about an ongoing relationship with someone else at the time & continues to take digs a year later on her own blog even after admitting it wasn't the best way to handle the confrontation. I have no contact with her and that's the way we both want it because it was ugly on both sides.

Puddles - Actually we both keep in contact with e-mails and text messages on a semi-regular basis. She is much better off back in her hometown using her recent degree to help secure a better job and be with her father & family. Feels comfortable enough to store some things here until we can get them all shipped back.

Incorrigible Girl - We'll examine more about her below, but this came down to an instance of mistrust while she was here & because of an act that shall remain private I lost a very good friend to myself and other subs in Spiral Submissive. There was a lack of trust and discomfort with I-Girl and Rose as well. No further contact.

Lavender - The timing on this was just not right in any way. Lavender was in need of much too much time involvement & she was coming just about the same time as Rose was coming down from NYC for the first trial run of us being together. The distance (Berlin to DC) and work schedule was the enemy here. We talked extensively about her being released because one of my cold hard rules is that you cannot bounce back & forth with two different Doms, yet she needed to find someone in Berlin to continue her journey. She knows she is welcome to come and visit at any time and we are both very supportive of her career, which is probably three times as demanding as mine...and we all know what a time suck that has been recently.

Rose - That chapter is not only still open, but continues to develop, flourish and grow every single day. Rose has said on her own blog that she values the support I've given her during her crisis with her mother's health & in trying to help her transition into a new city. Neither one of us would have taken the steps we have to plan a wedding if there were any doubts.

As for the other women who have come & gone over the past year or two they knew it was purely sexual and nothing more was to come of it. They needed a session, they got it. The TND persona is separate from my private life for a reason. You read what I want you to read & I realize that's the only thing you can judge TND on, but those are the rules I set for myself when I started the blog and that's the way they'll stay.

You profess to want to 'assist' those women (and men) who are the victims of dominance and submission gone terribly wrong. Yet, for all your smoke blowing, you don't seem to have any sort of handle on making a relationship work beyond a year (and I'm being kind). You appear to have the dreaded KiSA Complex that most 'dominants' suffer from. You feel some intense need to be the Knight in Shining Armor for all these 'submissives.' Swoop in, with your words of wisdom and worldly, know-it-all manner and hand them the answers to effective, healthy dominance/realtionships. Yet, for all your wisdom, you seem to lack the basic principle of taking a step back, regrouping, figuring out what you want and then making a wise choice in who you bring into your bedroom. We have yet to see any relationship which sustains over time.

The assistance I've offered is primarily to battered and abused women who have been both physically and emotionally shattered. Taking someone to the hospital or finding a therapist who specializes in BDSM & D/s lifestyle abuse isn't KiSA, it's basic human decency and I don't apologize for that. Secondly, I'm not like "most" dominants and don't care to be. "Most" doms are plastic whip wielding club goers who never take the time to open themselves up for this type of self-exploration. This is an exercise of introspection in a hall of two-way mirrors. I can very clearly see the faults that you get to pick apart, probe and re-read over & over again without the responsibility of living the life thrown open for everyone to examine. I've never said that I offer the "answers", only opinion based on personal experiences. If you get the "answer" to your problem from my mistakes then more power to you. The TND blog will have done some good.

As for the length of my relationships, given the instability of my travel schedule and time specific work process, I'm surprised that I've had one 5-year relationship, one 7-year and even the 2 or 3 years together with a single person when I was younger and more active overseas. As I've gotten older and look to retire soon, I've also wanted to make sure I didn't do it alone. Rose isn't the quick fix...she is the best match and keeps me challenged with her intelligence and energy. I'd love to be able to go back in two or three years and enter an update here about how we're doing. I believe if I keep the blog that long that I will.

You dominant like a red rubber ball, pinging against every wall in the room, yet never really getting anywhere. While I'm happy that you seem to have found your happiness with Rose, one has to wonder will this end as quickly as the litany of others who have come before her? I'm curious - do you have a "Now Serving Submissive #__" dispenser next to your St. Andrews Cross?

I don't use a St. Andrews Cross. I use the hood of my car. And do you realize how stupid it is to ask a Dom if he's "serving" anyone? Seriously...there are many factors that led me to where we are today. The most overwhelming was the fact that from May 17, 2004 to about a month before I met Squishy I was either in a wheelchair or using a quad-walker from the life-changing auto accident that left me immobile and in great constant pain. There was the mental & physical "catching up" and being able to prove to myself that I could still function sexually and physically when I wanted to. Even now, with a quad cane or brace there is pain and discomfort. Rose is not the only one who saw past that, as others massaged and assisted when needed, but she is the one who saw the opportunity to help me get stronger...instead of stagnating.

In the last year, you have claimed new submissives/play partners with a dizzying degree of speed, and spun them (or they spin) out as quickly as they come into the picture. I've watched you post to various lists seeking the next submissive changing your criteria with each new prospective partner who responds. I'm curious - does it bother your submissives that same implements that you use on her, were used on so many others before her?

I do not post to a variety of lists, nor have I used anything other than Craigslist or my own blog to find someone for sessions. The profiles on Alt.com and CollarMe.com have not been signed into for months and months. You have a problem with someone testing the waters and continuing to search for that special someone? Or would you rather I just sit back and wait for them to come to me like some sexual sultan? As for the implements I use, most are bought specifically for the individual and there are only a few "trademark" toys such as the 18" double-leather strap that are used from sub to sub. BTW...you also know as a regular reader that I make sure everything is either cleaned or discarded.

There is a community/lifestyle opinion that a dominant/submissive must be very clear about what (s)he wants and needs in order to effectively dominant/submit another. Yet, you seem to have shown nothing but a penchant for lots of kinky sex with lots of partners who have a myriad of issues they are facing. Most of which are simply looking for someone, anyone to 'submit' to, who will solve everything they cannot in their lives. One of the hardest things a domme/inant does is to decline the offer, however tempting, of someone who simply cannot handle the situation. It's a good idea to use the head on your shoulders, as opposed to the head between your legs.

You have a problem with lots and lots of kinky sex?

You will never know the number of submissives that I have turned down over the past 15 years or the number of serious offers that came in during the November 2005 sub search weekend, or that toy test you mention below. I have a penis. I like to use it. Deal with it.

I have to wonder if all this kinky sex and dominance with women so much younger than you, is just another way to control your relationships which have little, if anything to do with real dominance and submission. I'd be interested in seeing you go toe-to-toe with someone in your own decade, who has a sense of life experience that none of these 25 year olds are bringing to the table.

Rose is less than a year younger than I am & I believe I'm holding my own with her just fine, thanks. The reason I had all that kinky sex with 19, 21, 23, 25 & 28 year olds is because they had great bodies, an incredible sex drive and a curiosity about BDSM and D/s play. Sorry my trip through the candy store wasn't up to your standards.

You paint such a romantic view of your escapades, yet I've seen you tout safe, in fact making it a point of sharing how healthy are you and how much you are tested for HIV, yet you post a picture of your condom-less penis on your website - way to follow your own advice. I'm curious - how well did you know the woman you barebacked? As I remember, not well, as she answered your ad to use a new sexual toy. A couple of phone calls, a few emails and it's on. That, isn't dominance, it's cheap, kinky, non-committed sex. In fact, she burned out of the TND Atomsphere quickly thereafter.

I barebacked her ass, which had not been penetrated for more than 20+ years. See the answer at the top for why Incorrigible Girl burned out of the TND circle so quickly, but yes, she did take the dare to come down and test a brand new toy. She also returned a number of times and enjoyed herself. Every now & then a little cheap sex sin't such a bad thing...but you also have to remember it was not just about D/s play it was also about exploring some of her BDSM boundaries, which is completely separate from Dominance and submission. Those boundaries were tested, stretched and fulfilled.

Just because a woman will drop to her knees and blow you like a Oreck Vacuum, or will allow you to spank her - that's not dominance, it's actually bottoming and topping. Dominance and submission, true dominance and submission have nothing to do with sex. They are about being bonded to another - in such a profound way that nothing and no one can come in between that connection. It resides in the psyche and not in the groin. You have expressed your disdain in the past for the internet version of dominance and submission that is found in chat rooms, and how true dominance and submission is anything but that, yet you support and maintain a slick, polished website which touts kinky sex and sado-masochist moments as dominance and submission. They are anything but.

Again. There is a difference between D/s and BDSM. You seem to have cut & pasted a very simplified definition of what D/s is all about. I'm not about the purity of the Dominance. I'm not about living up to the textbook standards of others. There is a very clear statement early on in this blog about having tolerance for how others practice. It was written because of so many in chat rooms and on blogs who took others to task as you do.

There is also a difference between what the reader finds exciting and what mundane details go along with the lifestyle. There is also the privacy issue of the conversations, preparation and introspection that goes on before a session takes place or an invite is accepted. It's one of the reasons Rose and I haven't posted much recently, because there isn't much we want to share that isn't sexual in nature simply because we know what the readers, lurkers and lovers come back for. As for maintaining a slick and polished website, it's far from that. It's dressed up a bit, but in the content you'll find the same raw exposure you'd find on any plain wrap private blog.

So.. Natural Dominant, I'm calling you out on your bullshit. I'm calling you to actually put down your plethora of whips and other implements and really think about what it means to own another person. To have that type of power over another. To sustain a relationship for more than a year, with someone who is your equal, in her own right. Who has a clear understanding of what and who she is, outside of you. Who is comfortable in her own skin and her submissive solitude. Who understands that there is nothing more unattractive than the velcro collar syndrome. That there is nothing more beautiful than kneeling in front of your dominant and with conviction saying... "Master, I've waited a long time for you, I've saved myself and my submission for you." It's all about Master/submissive Right, not Master/submissive Right Now.

I never use the word Master. I don't own people.

Read Rose's blog and tell me she doesn't think for herself. Tell me she doesn't have the strength to live life without a partner. She disproves your theory every day in so many ways. She tells me vocally and by her actions that she is submissive to me & that she has chosen to be exactly where she is.

Red Rubber Balls, either as a submissive or a dominant are just so last season.

If I had wanted to be on the cover of "Vogue for Doms" I would have dressed better. It's about living your entire life like this, not what I choose to put up on this rediculous blog or what others in the lifestyle think is right or wrong beyond the safety of the play. So it takes a few more steps to find what I'm looking for. I'm on my own timetable not anyone else's.

Thank you Mary P. for your letter.

Sleep well. Perverts.
~TND

UPDATE - TUESDAY 1/30/07

To put this letter in perspective, it has now come to light from the expected follow-up letter received about an hour ago, that "Mary P" was someone that had been under consideration for a play partner here in Washington last summer and she was purposeful in trying to get me to respond in the way that I did. We had a number of detailed conversations then and yet, while I am very much in agreement with some of the things she has to say in her follow-up, I am afraid it is colored by the deception used to draw me out.

Readers should know that it is not necessary to use a fake name, a one-off e-mail address or a provocation to get me to answer any and all questions or opinions they may have. I'm afraid that has seriously dampened any further posting or reply to this person's "insights".

~TND

TND LETTER OF THE WEEK

Two posts below this is a survey question about how you handle telling your friends, neighbors, co-workers, family and anyone else outside your BDSM or D/s relationship about your lifestyle.

Rose and I received a number of great letters, most of them are posted by the writers as responses in the comment section of the original post. The TND Letter of the Week arrived this afternoon and clearly speaks volumes for many of you. I have changed some personal references and names, but the content will hit many of you right in the heartstrings. You may also not have heard of the Submissive wife Project she makes mention of, so I'm including the link here as well:

SUBMISSIVE WIFE PROJECT

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Dear TND and Rose,

Please know that I am so pleased for you and Rose! I've followed every posting and could immediately sense that fact that you were soulmates. Sensing Rose's devotion to you and your love for her, I knew (even before you posted it) that a full time arrangement with Lavender was not possible. I could almost feel Rose's exhaustion during the several day visit and her relief when she had some "alone" time with her man!

Your contentment is reflected in your blog. You project the feelings of a man (and woman) who are comfortable with each other, embrace the day-to-day reality of life, and still make time for highly erotic encounters (which, thankfully, you share with us!). I know that you have considered taking the blog down due to considerable life demands...please don't! I love reading your blogs - from the heart rendering story of Rose's Mom (I did send Rose an email expressing my emphathy) to your very hot sexual encounters! Whatever would us budding submissives with deep, dark erotic desires do without your blog?

A little about me. I'm 48, married to my high school sweatheart for 31 years and have three adult (28, 26, & 24) children. For many years I worked in a high powered, high-profile corporate job (HR) and was the model control freak! I could make life-altering decisions on the run and knew, without a doubt, that my decisions were solid. I managed 1200 employees in multiple locations and three countries. At work, and at home, I controlled everything. Despite the corner office, six-figure salary, 40% annual bonus and numerous other perks, I was not a "happy" woman. Everyone thought I had it all. But I didn't have the life I wanted. I was ashamed at the way I spoke to my husband, I was more ashamed that he tolerated it because I was the higher income provider. We were both miserable and knew something had to change.

It did...two years ago I lost my job to due chronic illness. While I hate the illness and what it has done to my life, I embrace it because it allowed my submission to come to the forefront. I was finally able to let go (it wasn't and isn't always easy) and give the control to my husband. By the grace of God I found the Submissive Wife Project and was accepted as a community member. Through active participation with intelligent, witty, capable, opinonated woman, I realized that I didn't have to give up who I was to be a submissive woman!

I found I could still have strong opinions, be fiesty and fun-loving but give my husband his rightful place as the head of the household. More important, the more rerspect I showed my husband, the more dominant he became (he is naturally dominant in and out of the bedroom but I'm confident that I undermined his confidence with my overbearing behavior!). At first it was frightening to allow him control over every area of our life. But it has done wonders in the bedroom. After 30 years of marriage, I could finally admit that I had an overwhelming desire and deep need to be submissive. We talked, alot, about what that meant to both of us and we are slowly working through many changes. After 30 years of vanilla sex (and unexpressed desires) we've even sought out other similar interest couples and have had one full swap encounter!

I apologize for the length of this email...I just want you and Rose to know how important your blog is to me. I feel free...I can finally express my needs and wants in graphic terms. Thanks to your blog and those you recommend I feel normal! I am able to share ideas and stories with my husband and we can talk about how to incorporate ideas into our relationship. You should have seen his face when I told him that I wanted to be spanked - hard! I wasn't sure if he was going to roll on the floor laughing or bolt from the room. Thanks to the support I get from community members and courage I find in quality blogs, I can now admit that I want the kind of sex life that nice wives don't talk about! We still have a long way to go before my desires are addressed...what I wouldn't give to wear a collar, kneel at his feet, experience bondage, be subjected to forced orgasms, etc. But I digress!

So the survery question. We handle the changes (which, to our surprise is obvious to those closest to us) with humor. The night we entertained the other couple at our house, our children asked who these people were, where did we meet them, why hadn't they heard their names before, etc. (luckily I also have a business that puts me in contact with alot of people so I said we met through the business!).

When our daughter (who happens to live within a mile radius) suggested she might stop by to "meet our new friends", I told her, "If the blinds are closed, don't knock...we might be having group sex". Of course she was appalled at my "joke" and said, "Yeah, right, like you and dad are into that stuff"! Needless to say, the blinds were closed! So, in response to your question...we actually tell the truth but bury it in humor - most people aren't sure if we are joking or not and seem unwilling to ask any further questions so we just let it hang out there. Let them think what they want!

Best wishes to you and Rose on your upcoming wedding. I can tell that you have a deep, rich relationship. You are lucky to have found each other and I'm confident that your relationship will grow deeper and more meaningful with each passing day.

Thanks for the blog. Thanks for always keeping it honest.

Fondly,

"E"

RECOMMENDED READING ABOUT READING

http://www.bdsmreviews.blogspot.com/

One of my new blogger friends, Miranda Heart, is a part of a very interesting site that reviews BDSM books. These aren't your usual erotic tomes or the type of romance novels found at the checkout counter of your local supermarket. They often entwine action, suspense, mystery, sci-fi and almost all other genres into the BDSM threads that hold the reader from cover-to-cover.

I like the fact that Miranda and her co-bloggers offer up links to the authors as well as concise, well-written reviews & a cover shot. Much like my friend Dionne Galace who runs the "It's Not Chick Porn!" blog, Miranda, Elise, Monique and Kevin have a rating system and even offer up the ISBN# so you can pop it into Amazon or follow the link of each publisher and buy directly.

The site also includes regular chats for those interested in the material, as well as those affiliated with the Alternative Writers Association. A good place to start for those of you who might be contemplating taking all those musings you post on your own blog and flushing them out into novellas or complete works.

Take a stroll over to discover what you've been missing.

Sleep Well. Perverts.
~TND

5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY + TND SURVEYS

As we come to the end of the 17th day of the month I am reminded by my dear Rose that this is the 5th month we have lived together. The reminder came long distance from the midwest today.

As it happens, this is also the first time we have been apart from one another for a long stretch.

She is back home for the entire week making sure the move of her mother to a new, more Alzheimer's-friendly care facility is smooth & getting in as many waking hours next to Mom as she can. It's funny that in the few short months since our first encounter on 8/6/06 we've both come to find the other's surviving parents to be as accepting and loving as if they were our own. Remarkable in such a short time.

Neither one of them know about how we really met or about our special D/s relationship. As a matter of fact my mother asked with a smirk if we had really met through our mutual friend "Craig"...a reference to how so many who connect through Craigslist cover their asses to family and friends. At least I could truly say "Craig" wasn't involved in this in any way, shape or form.

It would not be a shock to my mother, whom I've long suspected has been keeping a secret about her and a few rather "butch" type fem friends over the years...but to tell Rose's mother anything but the basics about us would be either grounds for one of her mom's patented Italian backhands to Rose's ass or an automatic Code Blue to the nursing staff.

One of the areas I have not covered with the readers, lurkers and lovers here is just how you handle...or don't handle...dealing with your BDSM & D/s side of life with friends, co-workers and especially family members. From parents to siblings, in-laws to one's own kids, there must be a broad range of responses out there and I would love to hear from you.

Click on the Comment button below or send me an e-mail (see sidebar menu or Blogger profile) and give us some insight on this TND survey question...

How do you handle your BDSM & D/s lifestyle with family & friends?

I look forward to seeing some of the responses!

And our second feature this week is a TND Caption Contest!

Click on the comic book cover from Archie Comics character Betty (Edition #101) to see it full frame and notice the FemDom ankle cuff and strap between Betty's foot and Archie's neck. Post your best caption for the cover and we'll award the winner a significant prize from TND.

Due to the fact that we cannot engage in interstate commerce or operate this as a real contest without a ton of legal disclaimers, trust me when I tell you you'll be getting something of value without the need to purchase anything or engage in lottery-like activities.

Good luck all!
Sleep well. Perverts.
~TND

PLAYROOM?

So Rose and I were looking at a place to live closer to downtown Washington, DC, since we both love to be in the heart of a vibrant neighborhood, instead of out in the boonies or in "vanilla" suburbia ... sub-nilla or van-urbia? ... nevermind ... so anyway, she shows me the picture below of a third floor extra bedroom in a townhouse.

The first words out of my mouth after Rose said "That would make a great 'playroom' "...




..."Perfect! I could tie your left leg to that radiator and your right leg to the other...and then your wrists to the top..."

You see I have a problem. I let my penis go house hunting with Rose and myself.

Sleep Well. Perverts.
~TND

50,000+ CAN'T BE WRONG

UPDATED WEDNESDAY 1/3/2007 - 12 MIDNIGHT

HAPPY 2007 to the readers, lurkers and lovers. It was an adventurous 2006 and next year looks like it'll be just as adventurous, but a helluva lot more stable.

Thank you to the 50,000+ visitors who have come to the Natural Dom blog since we launched in late November 2005. Granted, there are blogs that drive a lot more traffic and there are blogs that have made an impact to the point they have almost become commercial enterprises. We like the little corner of the blogosphere we have carved out, and as each day passes we are still amazed at the number of BDSM & D/s references that make it into the mainstream.

It wouldn't be a decent holiday unless I gave you all a gift. A story.

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I came home after a long day of work to find Rose sitting on the sofa in one of my dress shirts and nothing more. She jumped up and greeted me with one of her wonderful spine-straightening kisses. The kind that develops slowly and sparks enough heat between you that you're surprised when your lips don't weld together from the passion. My hands roamed under the dress shirt and found her round, firm ass. Placing a hand on each cheek I pulled her tighter to me and held her as we continued to kiss.

For most of the afternoon and well into the evening I had been envisioning what I was going to do when I got home. The TND toy bag had been idle as of late and in the rush to get us each off to work on time, both of us had neglected to fulfill our "needs". There had been spankings, random fingers, lips, tongues, genitalia and even Hitachi wands involved, but not the kind of full sessions each of us needed. As the long work day took it's toll on me physically, my mind had mapped out what I was going to do to Rose, and I had played and replayed it over and over again on the drive home.

I asked my sweetness to get me a double shot of Ameretto on the rocks, sending her around the corner of our home into the kitchen, where she would not see what I was up to. I slowly opened the front closet and reached in to grab four coiled ropes and a handful of old style wooden clothespins. As she came out of the kitchen I took the glass from her and led her over to the dining room chair at the head of the table. This was the larger one with the extended arms and sturdier frame. She shot me a look of surprise and I immediately put my finger up to her lips before she made a single peep.

I told her that this was a No Mercy, No Limits session and that she needed to relax and let nature take it's course. I took a pair of black steel handcuffs with a longer chain between them & cuffed her hands together behind her back. Leading her to the chair back, I pressed her stomach against it and told her to stand still while I secured her legs. Instead of just tying her ankles to each of the chair legs I had her spread them wide enough to get them at an angle around the curved back, which was made up of sturdy lathed posts every six inches. I tied her thighs open in a semi-squating position and then secured her legs to the middle supports below the chair, instead of the legs themselves.

She was wide open and still able to stand flat-footed. I reached below her and flicked her clit a few times before heading to the bedroom to get a few things. I returned with not one, but two Hitachi wands, the Liquid Silk lube & a small pillow for her midsection. Working the small flat pillow between her stomach and the chair back, I then had her lean forward for more of the ropework she craves.

She had been wearing her "daytime" collar as she has been instructed, so I had easy access to the single D-ring in the center. Taking a short piece of rope I ran it thru the D-ring and looped the other end down to the middle support of the chair between the 4 legs. Pulling the slack just a bit, I put her in a face forward position over the chair back with her 36D cups hanging right where I wanted them.

The two black silk bondage ropes wound tightly around each of her breasts before connecting behind her back in a harness. Each of her large pierced nipples was then decorated with 3 of the ornaments from our Christmas collection for a total of 6. As I added each holiday ball I reached behind her and fingered her wet pussy, making her shudder and shake a bit, moving the weight of the balls back & forth pulling on her nipple rings. I flicked her clit again and pulled the hood back so I could take the little nubbin between my forefinger and thumb.

I laid out the remainder of the items I wanted to use on her as we approached the stroke of Midnight. The Njoy steel wand, two waterproof rabbit vibrators, the handful of wooden clothespins, and the instruments of "ass destruction"...the leather paddle, the old school wooden ruler, the 18" double leather strap, the lambskin flogger and the leather Cat O'Nine Tails.

I asked her if she wanted a gag. She said no. Brave baby.

With three minutes to Midnight we shut off the computer...

...the rest of the story in the morning.

(mea culpa...nostrum utpote votum pro persevero masturbation...tamen nostrum coitus fabula eram rumpo per opus - In other words, our sincerest apologies for interrupting your masturbation but our fucking story was sidelined by work. Again.)

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Part Deux

After shutting off the computer I prepared for the arrival of the new year by getting out a wonderful bottle of Borolo wine, which should be familiar to fans of "Sex in the City" as the libation of choice of the character Barishnikov played. It would be our reward after the session, along with a nice selection of italian meats and cheeses in an impromptu antipasti...and yes, feel free to insert your own "hide the salami" joke here.

I went back to the dining room, where my dearest Rose had been "detained, restrained & enslaved" over the back of the chair, with her now blushing breasts as tender as ever due to the rope coil harness around them. I took up the 18" double leather strap and looked her square in the eyes. Leaning over I planted a kiss on her lips as my right hand brought the flat hard leather & rubber strap up gently against the undersides of each boob with a light tap-tap-tap-tap. She stiffened, imagining the worst that could happen in this position with her tender sacs completely exposed, my choice of the dreaded double leather strap to start instead of a warm-up by hand, blusher or even the wooden ruler...and the obviously wicked grin I had on my face.

With each tap-tap-tap of the strap the undersides of her breasts got a bit pinker. I reached over with my left hand and removed the holiday decorations from her nipple rings. She sighed a bit of relief, since two of the three tree ornaments were old-fashioned carved wooden ones from our shared Scandinavian background. They had been tugging and swaying from those shiny silver rings with each tap-tap-tap, even though her breasts were bound tightly enough to prevent much movement of the sacs themselves. I slid the leather around and around each areola and dropped the 4 inch wide strap about 6 inches before bringing it up sharply on her dark hard nipples. YELP! Oh-oh-oh- honey YELP! Four times flatly and sharply on each nipple, as she tried to jump up and away from the strap.

The rope thru her D-ring collar prevented her from going very far, but still her head tilted back as if to get every millimeter of distance she could between her and the strap. I walked in front of her and sat on the edge of the dining room table. Lifting her head as I laid down the leather strap, she looked at me for comfort. I placed my thumb on her lower lip and lifted the head of my cock to her marvelous mouth. As I released my hand from the side of her chin, Rose's mouth slid over the large cockhead and down the shaft. She took the initiative to bob her head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip. A few minutes later, as she heard the strains of the crowd in NYC's Times Square counting down the new year from the TV in the living room, Rose lowered her mouth all the way down on "Mr. Happy" and began humming...

hmmm hmm hm hm hm hmmmmm hm hm hmm hmmm hm hm hm hmmmmmmmmmm

oh, perhaps I should translate...

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot... And never brought to mind... For auld lang syne, my dear For auld Lang syne, We'll tak a cup o kindness yet, For auld lang syne!"

That poor fucker Dick Clark never knew that while he was ringing in the new year for a million drunken lemmings, he was also inspiring my sweet Rose to send a signal for a million "swimmers" to aim for the uvula!!! I splashed a heavy load into her throat and, being the devoted subbie and world class cocksucker that she is, not a single drop was missed. Rose is indeed a rare gift.

I reached for the keys to her black steel cuffs & released her hands so she could take some of the strain off her back. She steadied herself on the chair arms as I slipped a padded leather and steel cuff around each wrist and then looped a coil of rope through the D-rings on the side & then around the arms of the chair. I brought out the classic black box containing the Njoy stainless steel wand and placed it in front of her on the table. Rose's eyes lit up and a big smile crossed her face. The only question was...which of her openings would have the pleasure of receiving one of her favorite toys?

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More to come...in the meantime, check out what Rose had to say about a special visitor:

http://aliferestarted.blogspot.com/2007/01/fucking-santa.html

Happy New Year!

~TND